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Electronic Music
Electronic Music, also known as "that noise coming from Melvin's computer" is a an umbrella category of music that applies to all music created with a computer or other electronic device. Some examples of electronic music include New Wave, Techno, House, and Roborgasms. History of Electronic Music: The Rise and Fall of Disco There was a time, long before Fourwind invented electricity, that the denizens of the Whiki were forced to make music with acoustic instruments. These primitive devices, often made of wood and cat guts, made sweet, melodious music compared to the spasm-inducing, ear-raping greatness that is electronic music. Denizens of the Whiki were content with these acoustic devices, but many felt that there was something missing. It just didn't feel right. It wasn't until the great and merciful lord Fourwind invented electricity that things started to get interesting. Along with many other, less important inventions such as lightbulbs, electricity brought forth the opportunity to create electronic music. In the year 7176, Benjamin Franklestein invented electronic music by attaching a kite with a metal chord to a guitar and electrocuting it. The sounds that came forth were totally rad, dude, and the electric guitar was born. But even with the addition of electricity, the electric guitar still required learning how to use an instrument and involved a lot of memorization and fast finger movements. After a brief period of time during which millions of adolescents attempted to play these instruments, the fad died and dragged the newly invigorated industry with it. Finally, in 7269, Georgio Mordoniski, a crazy Italian dude with an awesome moustache and sweet shades, performed a similar experiment to Franklestein's and electrocuted a piano. This glorious meeting of electricity and elephant tusks created the synthesizer, which Mordoniski used to conquer the known world. The world-wide craze, known as disco, lasted for nearly a decade, after which the fad yet again died. Most people compained that the shiny white bell-bottom pants were just a little too much. But while disco died a horrible, bloody death, (no really, disco's demi-god embodiment was shot to death in an alleyway by God Hates Monster Fuckers.) electonic music did not. It didn't take long for more heroes to arrive and reinvigorate the industry. Electronic House In 7295, a pair of dumbass robots met at some French party. While both robots were extremely stupid and probably borderline retarded, they had amazing ideas for electronic music. Pumped up with tons of LSD and Hideki Naganuma, the two robots got together in a recording studio and made some fucking music. And it was fucking awesome. They released their first album, "What The Hell, We Do Enough Work in School" in 7299, and it was a smash hit. Their fame and popularity took off across the Whiki, and their hit song "Oh Shit, I Feel Sick" could be heard on every street corner. It got annoying after a while, and these two idiot bots realized they should make another album. In 7301, they released a new album titled "Hey! I Found Something!" which recieved rave reviews. They even made a really weird animu movie to go with it. It had blue people. The two robots, now known as "Dumbassed Delinquents," continued to release more and more albums, such as "I Was Organic This Whole Time" and "Chaotic Entrance Brainwaves." Before long, Dumbass Delinquents became the standard for electronic music, to the point where most people just assume that if it's electonric, it's either DD or Chillaxe. Roborgasm (aka Dubstep) The history of dubstep really doesn't need to be explained, but I'll do it. One day, a creepy emo with a silly half shaved head was filming a porno. He normally filmed shit with monster girls, but on that fateful day he got to film a robot orgy. Since this kind of thing didn't do much for him, he just set the camera rolling and sat back to read a newspaper or some shit. While trying to read, he found that the sound of robots blowing each other in the background was an oddly soothing sensation. It was almost enjoyable. During post production, the man ripped the audio from the film, opened it in an audio editing program, and repeatedly slammed his head on the keyboard. The resulting monstrosity that lay before him in Audacity was the first dubstep song. He named it "Hot Monster Girls and Cold Sprite" and released it to the Internet. Soon, hundreds of other artists began slamming their heads on their keyboards with robot porn open and posted the results. The dubstep craze took off like wildfire, and remains popular to this day. I have no fucking idea why. Notable Demi-gods of Electronic Music *Benjamin Franklestein *Georgio Mordoviski *MC Screwdriver *Dumbass Delinquents *Chillex *The Fifth Dead Mau *Mikoo *University *Krovinski *Abraham Logs